Verse 1
I got social anxiety like a muthafucker
While they instruct ya ta wait
Til the meds struck ya to break
The nightmare u dream when awake
The puncture they make
punctual shakes
you get from drugs when they race
To erase those bad feelings you can't take
And made a roadmap right outta ya face
That your thoughts can all use when they race
If ya u gotta pop the E brake
Maybe escape with with a knee scrape
Or fuck up brain up make ya feel like ya freebased or
smoke some some shit and freak out
Cuz it seem laced or
Like a magnet on hard drives that erase tha
Data you need and leave a negative space and leave ya own reflection looking like a
hesitant face
And ya girl and you are living just like celibate mates
And your shoveling the shit until the sediment tastes
So much better than the food that it's due to replace I hate to hasten the pacing while
the grace periods erasing
The timeframe i place on all these mind games

Verse 2
I went from being so aggressive
To being so passive it makes deep depression looks festive
That kinda shit'll leave an impression upon a young mind and
sometimes
i felt like both the joke, and the punchline
Like somekinda deaf dumb blinded creature by design featuring my maligned teacher
the black beast-ah
the bloody bautista
As i cease ta give two shits I take a look at these two wrists the lines i sliced with a
buck knife
In 96 talking bout fuck life fuck playing nice
Fuck praying nights for what little relief
To be relieved of the grief at what price

Would i be willing to pay it in blood money
Prescription drug money
Therapists and psychiatrists are just fuck buddies
I just leave em pieces
Like the piles of pills i spill and pop while i'm writing this thesis Til my hand and arm are
number than a plastic prosthesis
A checklist for suicide off to meet Jesus
at least it's pragmatic plan for a desperate man
A desperado with the mark of cain on his hand

I'd rather wake up with a horse head in my bed than a crackhead.
It's easy to act so zen when you're half dead.
But it's not really zen...
when you don't know where your depression begins and where your happiness ends.
Hungry for fulfillment, but your spiritually famished.
I watched the snake eat its tail 'til it eventually vanished.
Now my answers are too loud for the world and too shy for girls.
They come together late at night and they make me write them job referrals.
I'm reduced to a reference.
I prefer to refer back to the application and prove we were once best friends.
Now we’re barely acquaintances.
In a quaint connection we share amongst care-free relationships.
Lets convene in the crawl space with the rest of our fallen breed.
A family meeting at a halfway house, I’ll intervene where we lost the deed.
divvy up the speed, liquor, weed, and opiates of the bastards.
Overload the motherboard until she crashes.
Bare witness to the funeral. Business as usual.
In a business suit. This isn't suitable.
Now kids slip me albuterol to untighten my upper chest region.
I've been under the stress of succubus demons but I ain’t done breathing.
It’s hunting season for the anti-fun curmudgeons who got nothing to believe in.
Sometimes that’s just the drugs speaking.
Any last words? 'Cause I was just leaving.
Forever hold your peace when I’m deceased.
There’s been enough grieving